Showcasing the Thunder from Down Under
Showcasing the Thunder from Down Under
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This one .. about sums up my day today.
I thought it was gonna be epic. I ate extra chili last night, I gagged down a tablespoon of Olive Oil (that's the big spoon your mom uses to measure out her powdered zanax after dealing with you and your siblings all day.) I even had my coffee bright and early. The pipes were as prepped as they possibly could be.
Instead, we get this. These .. what even are they? .. angry walnuts? UGH.
And what is that gross film on the water? It's the Poo-Pourri I layed down in anticipation of greatness. (Side note: I should see about getting them to sponsor DumpFeed.com - seems right up thier alley.)
Did the greatness come to me? NO. Was the Poo-Pourri sprayed in vain? YES. WILL THERE BE BLOOD SPILT TOMORROW? Oh man, I sincerely hope not. TONIGHT WE DINE IN .. Woah Woah. Easy there, Sparta. Nobody's dining in .. although aaactually.. I did have some deliciously cleansing Ethnic Food for dinner.
One can only hope the morrow will bring us Glory. For, Lo! Even now the trumpeter soundeth!
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After sailing safely for over 1.6 Million miles and once circumnavigating the globe, The Hindenburg met a shockingly quick and fiery end when it attempted to moor in New Jersey on May the 6th 1937 .
In similar fashion, this famous specimen traveled an estimated 7.5 Million micrometers before its splash-down at the office.
Note the water landing, unlike the fiery Hindenburg landing, was able to preserve much of the specimen and the tail rudder and passenger basket are clearly seen on the rear and bottom of the specimen respectively.
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Todays specimen comes to us from the DNA Specialty Testing Services, or D-NASTY for short, and was discovered during our recent Megalodon sightings.
When our scientists brought some organic samples back to the D-NASTY lab for analysis they knew they were on to something big.
What we witness here is a fully preserved prehistoric X-shaped Chromosome from some horrible monster of the depths so large that it's chromosome is literally filling the inside of a curious white porcelain bowl. Just like something you'd see in high-school biology class - only this one has an elongated left-descending chain which is D-NASTY speak for "Holy Crap, something aint right here - goodness what ever could have given birth to this abnormality".
The answer, of course, is the bowels of the DumpFeed Faithful.
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For those who follow deep sea mysteries, or even just the mysteries of nature in general, you've no doubt already heard of the "Bloop" noise.
For those who may be new to the scene, the Bloop noise was a massive "bloop" sounding noise (pretty original name, huh?) that was recorded by a deep sea probe - and no one can figure out what caused it. Yes, it is real.
For many years speculation as to the origin of the noise has ranged (likely) from underwater aliens to megalodon farts and even to underwater landslides. Today we offer an alternative explanation - one of DumpFeeds contributors was simply droppin a deuce and the shockwave rattled its way down down in the trenches.
The funny part was this picture was submitted with the tag line "How? What? What just even happened?" And honestly my good chap, we have no idea. What's with that odd splash pattern? Hopefully you wiped thoroughly.
(thanks to another nameless contributor for today's dump!)
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In a stunning turn of fate we have not one but TWO sightings of the believed-to-be-extinct Megalodon in one week! last time we got a glimpse of it eating an entire coral reef in one bite. Today we witness an epic battle between to massive creatures: the Deep Ocean Megalodon and the massive Manta Ray.
Come to think of it if Mantas can actually be like 12 feet wide this battle might be drawn to scale.
Well 12 feet wide or not that Manta just got rammed snout first by Meggy who decided to grace the bowl one last time before disappearing back into the depths forever.
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Continuing our journey along the apparently poo encrusted bottom of the nastiest ocean in the world, we arrive at The Munching Megalodon.
Thought to have gone extinct over 10 million years ago, this little guy dropped in for a snack. On a poop boulder. Because when you're a Megalodon you dont nibble at brain coral or snap at the fish swimming by, you just fin your way right over and eat the whole dang fish, his entire family and the brain coral they were hiding under.
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