Today's zoo animal comes to us from the far reaches of some heinous jungle where nightmares most certainly have nightmares of thier own when they sleep.

Found coiled around the branches of a tree like some antedeluvian beguiler, this perfectly preserved specimen was still whispering lies into the ears of the innocent when it was wrangled into its porcelain prison from which it would never emerge.

"Come closssser," it whispers, "and give to me the sweet ssweet sugarss"

(special thanks to "Davey Jones" for footage of today's Dump!)

LOL. The name of this one just cracks me up. There's something wrong about the title the sticky snail.

Nice vivid imagery, amirite?

This thing basically crawled its way out of me and then decided to just stay put. With it's little snail-shell and everything.

When I get GIFs going on here this site will go to a whole new level. This, folks, was NOT a single-flush snail. No sir. It fought tooth and nail to stay topside.

And that's why you get the 30-golfball flusher.

Ever seen The Emperor's New Groove? With Emperor Kuzko (spelling?).

When he turns into a llama with the poofy little goatee and freaks out and runs all over and trips on his new hoofs and splays out all over the ground wailing and bemoaning his horrible life?

This is him. Right after he tripped.

But it was me that was wailing.

Continuing with our bowel-born Zoo friends, we present The Ugly Duckling.

I .. guys these are all legit, LOL .. The only photoshop touch-up I did was to lighten the picture and shrink down the file-size to save bandwidth. Sometimes I can't even believe these things myself.

What you see is literally what was in the bowl just moments before.

Can you see it? It's little beak and neck curving down into it's little body with it's wing tucked into itself? It's tail-feathers pointed down farther into the poo-lagoon?

It's practically like something you buy at Pottery Barn! Or maybe Shoddery Barn? Or maybe from the street-elves that Santa kicked out of the north pole for being rubbish toy-makers.

O to think what we saw on Mulberry St.

"W" is for Winner, and Winning, and Won.

And, for example, this beast from the bun.

We carefully approach, with camera held steady.

But no one, for this mess, could ever be ready.

And shaking our heads we mutter "and how!"

Cuz "W"'s for Winner and Wonder and Wow.

(thanks to "Officer Wiggum" for our first Guest Submission!)